Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man
In this revelatory, authoritative portrait of Donald J. Trump and the toxic family that made him, Mary L. Trump, a trained clinical psychologist, and Donald’s only niece, shines a bright light on the dark history of their family in order to explain how her uncle became the man who now threatens the world’s health, economic security, and social fabric.
Mary Trump spent much of her childhood in her grandparents’ large, imposing house in the heart of Queens, New York, where Donald and his four siblings grew up. She describes a nightmare of traumas, destructive relationships, and a tragic combination of neglect and abuse. She explains how specific events and general family patterns created the damaged man who currently occupies the Oval Office, including the strange and harmful relationship between Fred Trump and his two oldest sons, Fred Jr., and Donald.
A firsthand witness to countless holiday meals and interactions, Mary brings an incisive wit and unexpected humor to sometimes grim, often confounding family events. She recounts in unsparing detail everything from her uncle Donald’s place in the family spotlight and Ivana’s penchant for regifting to her grandmother’s frequent injuries and illnesses and the appalling way Donald, Fred Trump’s favorite son, dismissed and derided him when he began to succumb to Alzheimer’s.
Numerous pundits, armchair psychologists, and journalists have sought to parse Donald J. Trump’s lethal flaws. Mary L. Trump has the education, insight, and intimate familiarity needed to reveal what makes Donald, and the rest of her clan, tick. She alone can recount this fascinating, unnerving saga, not just because of her insider’s perspective but also because she is the only Trump willing, to tell the truth about one of the world’s most powerful and dysfunctional families.
About the author:
Mary L. Trump, born May 1965, a clinical psychologist, is the oldest child of Fred Trump Jr., and the oldest grandchild of Fred Trump Sr. Mary’s father died in 1981 at the age of 42 from a heart attack due to alcoholism
Mary L. Trump holds a Ph.D. from the Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies and taught graduate courses in trauma, psychopathology, and developmental psychology. She lives with her daughter in New York.
Reviews about the ebook Too Much and Never Enough:
In TOO MUCH AND NEVER ENOUGH, Mary L. Trump draws a detailed portrait of the Trump family pathologies with the intimacy of a psychological case study– which makes sense, considering that she’s a clinical psychologist. Her even-keeled, neutral (for the most part) tone make the irrational behaviors of the people in this book seem even more abhorrent by comparison. The occasional sarcastic aside is just icing on the cake.
I wasn’t too sure what to expect about TOO MUCH AND NEVER ENOUGH going in, despite the attempted block from the Trump family to keep it from being published. Trump had also attempted to block Michael Wolff and John Bolton from publishing their “tell-alls,” as well, and the result was that both of them became best-sellers and garnered a whole bunch of free press. Literally, the same exact thing happened with Mary L. Trump’s book, but Donald Trump’s inability to admit to fault or learn from past mistakes is just one of his (many) flaws. I was left with the impression that Mary Trump was essentially opening her own “tea” shop to spill all the gossip about Trump, but this book doesn’t tell anything too scandalizing or surprising. It basically fills in the gaps about things that are public knowledge but have been forgotten or pushed aside in favor of newer, more recent scandals.
The book Too Much and Never Enough starts out with a history of the Trump family, beginning with Fred, DT’s father, who appears to have been a high-functioning sociopath that enjoyed pitting his children against each other, reveled in the humiliations of others, despised weakness and personal accountability, and groomed Donald to be his successor, while also enabling him to be antisocial, unaccountable, and superficial by not punishing him for misbehavior and essentially providing him with a bottomless well of cash flow for all of his horrible and/or questionable business decisions. Freddy, Mary’s father, was the original successor, as the eldest child, but his personal weaknesses made him distasteful to Fred, and the inability to please or escape ended up facilitating an alcohol addiction that helped kill him.
We follow Trump through the 80s when he began to be popular as “the poor man’s idea of rich” (paraphrased from Fran Lebowitz), his two previous wives, his inappropriate comments, and cruelties. It’s chilling how his lack of empathy or concern towards the mounting American deaths in the COVID-19 crisis mirror his behavior towards his own family members. For example, when Freddy Trump was in the hospital for the heart attack that would end his life, Donald Trump went out to the movies instead of waiting at home with the family. When his own mother was mugged so violently that she suffered a hemorrhage, and Mary visited her every day, Trump snarked that wasn’t it great that she had so much “free time.” In his own internal calculus, it seems clear that weakness and suffering are liabilities that he can’t afford in a world of superlatives where everything around him must be “great” or “fantastic,” and especially if those things are a reflection on him.
Perhaps the most heartbreaking part of this book– apart from the obvious, which is how this country facilitated and continues to enable the abuses of power that Donald Trump wields with the carelessness of a child with a dangerous weapon– is how badly Mary and her brother Fritz were treated by the family. Donald Trump first tried to essentially oust his whole family from his father’s will by attaching a codicil to his father’s will that would have made him sole executor. It was caught by pure luck and he and his siblings were all made executors with equal power. You would think that this would make the siblings sympathetic to being cut out of what is their due, but the whole family undervalued Mary and Fritz’s inheritance when they were cut out of the will and forced to settle for a pittance, giving them a very, very small fraction of what they should have received. And when they tried to sue for what was theirs, Maryanne, Trump’s older sister, had their health insurance revoked– which came as a huge blow to Fritz, whose son had severe medical issues that necessitated hospital visits for frequent seizures. The lawyer suggested that if they were worried about their child not breathing, they could “learn CPR.” Charming.
His lack of respect for Melania and creepy behavior with Ivanka get a throwaway scene each, which is all that’s really necessary because they are so emblematic of his usual patterns. Likewise, his pompous, inappropriate form of “leadership” as president is showcased in the opening scene, when he invites his relatives to the White House for a visit that ends up being both classless and disturbing. TOO MUCH AND NEVER ENOUGH is a portrait of a person who lacks empathy, shirks responsibility (but would like to take all the credit while also avoiding any blame). I think it’s pretty safe to say, objectively, that he is the worst president the United States has ever had, and that his handling of our crises and petty attempts to deny care and funding to those who oppose him while also making a concerted effort to sow dissent while attacking our nation’s most vulnerable showcase his bullying mentality and his desperate need to always feel strong by making others seem weak.
Some will probably say that Mary was too kind or too level in her biography of this man, but I think when writing books like this it’s important to strike that kind of tone. If you make someone into a cartoonish villain, it becomes too easy to write them off as a joke, and I think that was one of the biggest mistakes of the 2016 election. Nobody took Trump seriously until it was too late. He needs to be held accountable and taken to task for his bad behavior, and his policies need to be questioned, and he needs to be asked the tough questions that he fears will make him out to be the fool he is.
A shocking insiders´ autobiographical story of epigenetic in action, opening the question of where to go with ethics and morality if one has no chance to choose on from the beginning, with an absentminded, ill mother just interested in her own suffering and a sociopathic father Trump has become himself too.
It´s vicious, the author shows how the influence of the elder generations formed a climate that was a dark caricature of what family should mean, the opposite of what someone needs to become a friendly, mind opened, and tolerant human. Ironically it´s closer to what is shown on the TV, Donald Trump loves so much to watch and see himself in, than to normal family life and one simply wouldn´t believe that it happened like that.
How do you nurture a sociopath?
If you were not aware, this book Too Much and Never Enough is written by Donald Trump’s niece Mary. It is a VERY short book, but it is very good.
So let’s break down a little bit about what this book is exactly. You aren’t going to find any state secrets here. For anyone asking “Why Didn’t Mary speak out earlier”, this is addresses, but this isn’t a political expose. At its heart, Too Much and Never Enough is a story about an extremely twisted family, that is much about the other Trumps as it is Donald.
Nothing in this book would sway a true believer. Nothing here is going to rock the world of an undecided voter- because this is a book about who the Trumps are as people. We have already seen Trump mock women, non-white folks, disabled people. We have seen him do so many evil things. If you don’t know who Trump is by now, I don’t really know what to say about you. Too Much and Never Enough is this woman’s catharsis- it’s a way for her to release her trauma. Her book chronicles essentially, how she was became disenchanted with her family before 45 ever decided to run for office, how she was disinherited, and where Fred Trump comes into play as a lynchpin at the center of it all.
Mary’s father, Fred Trump junior, was an outlier. Not necessarily a good man, but a complicated one who had made a number of visible mistakes before she was even born. She describes his dark relationship with his brother and her father’s slow physical and mental decline as he falls out of favor with Fred Senior. Much of this book is really told through her father’s eyes, and through the stories, he told her before his passing.
Mary’s grandfather Fred is also hi-lighted as an abuser that gaslit and traumatized his children, saw the evil in his own younger son, and then raised him as an ideal son to take on the family name. Free Senior’s cruelty towards everyone around him and shady business practices help shaped the monster we now know today like 45.
As for Donald Trump- Mary uses a number of personal and family stories to paint a picture of Trump’s youth. Trump’s behavior doesn’t come out of thin air, and Mary is really able to paint a picture of 45 at his darkest, which started at a much earlier age than some may expect. These personal stories are chilling and callous- often reflecting his relationships with the American people during his four years as president.
You get some interesting little tidbits about “modern” behavior from the family as well, from small squabbles to election night anecdotes. Imagine the literary families of Long days Journey Into the Night or Haunting of Hill House. The Trump family in Mary’s book is almost laughably literary “broken wealthy”.
I highly recommend Too Much and Never Enough, even if you don’t find yourself often drawn towards non-fiction- if only because this is a simple and easy to follow biography that helps us understand how we got where we are now. How Donald Trump, against all odds, rose in the ranks of his own family from a younger “second son”, and ended up making all of us pay for his neurosis.
I think most folks would go into this worried that Mary is providing excuses or sympathy for her family, and I can assure you that is not the case. Mary is an exceptional author and intelligent woman who makes no excuses for her family and manages to tell a hard and painful story with striking objectivity and honesty.
I woke up this morning to find that the ebook version of Mary Trump’s book Too Much and Never Enough about her uncle, the President, had arrived.
My husband and I had several books about Trump, which he largely read out loud to me, but since his death, I have gotten rid of most of them and have not ordered more. No need to go there. We all see the truth daily and I wallow in despair about him enough.
I ordered this book Too Much and Never Enough and will read it because it was a chance to find some truth, written by someone who actually knows things and is trained to assess them. I hoped that it was not written as an act of revenge, at least not entirely. I needed to understand what has happened to us all and a country about which I care.
I have read the prologue and will finish the ebook Too Much and Never Enough.
I am writing to say that, while some revenge may linger around the edges, this is a book worthy of reading, written by an educated fellow traveler on our disastrous trip. We should all read it because then we can at last know and understand what has happened to us.
My husband, a psych major, and I, always curious about why people act as they do, spent hours discussing what made Trump Trump. Well, here are the answers and they are more complicated than the bits of it reported in the press can explain.
It is well written, tries to be honest, and is a fascinating study of a deeply flawed “sick” man who has changed our country for good and, sadly, bad. Most importantly it answers our collective question, How Could This Have Happened.
Mary writes from our own sad point of view, with more knowledge than we possess, and with more pain than we possess, and that is saying something.
I hope you read it Too Much and Never Enough.
I read the ebook version of this book Too Much and Never Enough in its entirety, and I think both Dr. Trump’s position within her family and her professional standing as a psychologist lend great credibility to the veracity of her observations.
What she describes is indeed alarming, though I doubt anyone would be genuinely surprised. At the time of this writing, over 130,000 Americans are dying from a virus we saw coming and had time to face head-on, if only we had taken what we had seen happening in Italy and China throughout February 2020 seriously.
Instead, we were told on February 26th “there are fifteen cases and pretty soon it’ll be close to zero”. We know now, as we should have surmised then, that this was a most dangerous deception. This is simply one example of the toxic combination of depravity and sheer incompetence that has infected our nation.
Incompetence found repeatedly throughout Dr. Trump’s book, but one that no one seemingly had the courage to bring to the light of day until now. Her writing style is easy to read and simple to follow, and I commend her for this work. It was an excellent read and one that will surely find its place in the history books when future generations look back at the horrors of today and try to make sense of it all. Bravo, Dr. Trump!